“Marry Me” Doesn’t Mean “I Love You”

Abuse is not about “anger issues.” Abuse is a choice and it is progressive. “As three police cars were en route to my home, I locked myself in the bedroom, while my husband raged on the other side of the door with a loaded .44 Magnum in hand.” Mayfield lived the abuse. In her book, she combines her personal experience with her professional medical knowledge and training in domestic violence and abusive relationships. Her book, which is nearing publication, is concise and easy to read. Within her book, she provides all the resources that a person suffering abuse will need in order to take charge of their life again. She includes never before published resources for victims of abuse who own pets. Her book provides shelter locations that accept animals, pet friendly hotels, as well as information on state protection orders that extend to the family pets.

Mayfield has the ability to connect with the reader on a personal level, meeting them where they’re at emotionally and helps guide them out of the abusive relationship. Through her professional insight, personal stories and shared warmth, she helps the reader recognize the cycle of abuse and understand what is going on in the abuser’s head when he alternates between violence and abuse and then apologies and expressions of love. She recognizes the reader will have thoughts of going back to the relationship and she addresses those thoughts and helps the reader understand their feelings. She knows there is hope. She knows there is a way out!

What makes Mayfield’s book unique:


• Unique to Mayfield’s book is her personal understanding that to create lasting change in our lives; we have to gain our own realization of the problem. Change doesn’t occur because we’re told we should do something. Change occurs when we can finally recognize the problem and find the truth within us. It is only when we come to our own realization that we are moved with a true desire to create change, and only then that we have the ability to be successful at it.
In a concise format she shares her story in a way that allows the reader to recognize the abuse in their own life. She then gently guides the reader out of the abuse.
• Mayfield provides a concise index of resources never before found within one book. These resources include an index of Safety checklists for adult, children and pets, as well as state domestic violence shelters, and additional state resources.
• Never before has a book offered an index of pet shelter options, including state domestic violence shelters known to accept pets, and pet friendly hotels for those who are suffering abuse and need to escape. Many people who are suffering abuse stay within an abusive relationship because they fear leaving their pet.
• An index of state domestic violence pet protection orders. Very few people know that many states provide protection orders for pets as well as the victim.
• For those who are not in an abusive relationship, but concerned for someone who is, Mayfield helps those readers understand the dynamics of abuse, and what is going on in the victim’s head. Because she lived it, she provides suggestions on how to successfully reach out to the victim so they can begin taking the steps out of the relationship. She explains that the most important step when reaching out to someone suffering abuse is to meet the victim where he or she is at emotionally.


Mayfield’s book targets all men and women. It does not discriminate between men or women, heterosexual or homosexual, married or single, adult or teenager. The patterns and cycles of abuse are the same whether the abuse occurs within intimate relationships, abusive friendships, work relationships or families. Abuse has no borders. Because the red flags and the cycle of violence do not change, her insights are relevant to all abusive interpersonal relationships. Her book also provides insight for friends and family members who know someone in an abusive relationship, and through her personal experiences she shares how they might help someone they care about break free from the abuse.
Mayfield is a licensed Physician Assistant in practice for over 23 years. She currently works in the Emergency Department and holds two certifications in domestic violence, abuse and trauma. She is an active member of the Academy of Violence and Abuse, as well as the National Association of Professional Women, whose membership exceeds 900,000. She also practices as a life coach, helping her clients achieve their goals and enrich their lives. She received her Life Coach training through the Martha Beck Life Coach Training Institute founded by Martha Beck PhD, sociologist, bestselling author and life coach. Through Mayfield’s blog and social media pages, which feature content addressed in her book, Mayfield is followed by readers throughout nine countries. Her domestic violence website can be found at www.dvbleedingheart.com. Her writing is read by those being abused, family and friends who are trying to understand and help someone within an abusive relationship, health care workers and therapists.

Christy's book questions

Reflections From Christy’s Book Writing Journey


I would add my written notes to the documents in the safe deposit box on a regular basis. I did this in case anything ever happened to me and I wasn’t able to communicate who injured me… or worse. I had it all written down. Each event was documented in detail with the dates and times noted.”

Read more to learn about Christy’s experience writing her book, “Marry Me” Doesn’t Mean “I Love You.”




Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Website: https://dvbleedingheart.com
Email: info@www.christymayfieldcoaching.com